The Friendship we are Building

Does this sound familiar?
“Hey, I’m really sorry, but something came up, and I have to cancel our plans. Can we reschedule?”

And the response?
“Oh yeah, totally understand. Another time.”

Then, before you know it, this becomes a pattern. Your friend starts believing you’re the busiest person in the world. While they might be happy for your personal success or aspirations, they may also stop reaching out, thinking the best thing they can do is let you chase your dreams. Slowly, they stop sharing their lives with you, convinced you’ll never come through for them.

Has this ever happened to you? It’s a scenario I’ve experienced firsthand, and it’s led me to rethink the kind of friend I want to be.

What Does It Mean to Be a True Friend?

When do we really learn what it means to be a true friend? Is there a moment when we suddenly realize that we’re actually doing it right? How do we sustain friendships in a world that pulls us in every direction? Should friendships naturally grow, or do we need to deliberately nurture them, the way we do our careers or goals?

Many of us sprint through life, always busy, always focused on something else. But do we stop to think about the friendships that support us, that make life meaningful? I’m no saint in this area, but I’ve realized one important truth: showing up for the people you care about matters more than anything else.

And lately, I want to do more of it. I want to be more intentional about my friendships.

Is Friendship Transactional?

Sometimes it feels like people treat friendship like a transaction—something you give in exchange for something else. But true friendship isn’t about keeping score. It’s about being there for someone, even when they don’t ask. It’s about caring without expecting anything in return. Some of the best moments in my life have been simple conversations and laughter shared with friends. It’s not about the quantity of friends; it’s about the quality of those connections.

Why, then, do we pour all our energy into work, leaving so little for the people who matter most? Growing up, I was surrounded by community. Friends, family, neighbors—everyone played a role in each other’s lives. That shaped me into someone who values connection. Nowadays, there’s this odd pressure to be liked or to be “networking,” but I think being a genuine friend is far more valuable.

How Do We Balance Friendship with Leadership?

The truth is, like anything worthwhile, building and sustaining friendships is hard work. It takes time, energy, and yes—sometimes it feels like it’s not worth the effort. I’ve made mistakes in the past, like when I decided to stop making new friends because I thought I already had enough. But recently, I’ve come to realize there’s no cap on friendship. It’s about love, care, and connection. I’m starting to believe that there’s room for as many friends as possible, and being there for them when it truly matters—that brings me joy.

As a leader, I think this mindset of friendship and selflessness is key. True leadership is about caring for people, just like being a true friend. The connection between friendship and a productive, safe environment is undeniable. When you care, things just work better.

Are We Truly Selfless?

I’ve been thinking about this more lately, especially after a recent conversation with a mentor. He canceled a meeting because his friend was undergoing heart surgery, and he wanted to be there. He didn’t hesitate to drop everything, because that’s what friends do. It struck me deeply.

Friendship is about being selfless, about giving without expecting to receive. It’s about stepping up when someone needs you the most. That’s the kind of friend I aspire to be, and it’s also the kind of leader I want to become—someone who shows up for people, whether in life or in the workplace.

What Kind of Friend Are You?

So, what kind of friend are you? Who in your life could you do better by? Who’s that person you’ve unintentionally let drift away? It’s easy to get wrapped up in the busyness of life, but friendship—true friendship—is something we all need to nurture.

Take a moment to reflect: How are you showing up for the people who matter to you? What kind of friend do you want to be, and what kind of friends do you need in your life?

After all, in the end, it’s the connections we build that shape who we are.