The Cost of Keeping on Track

Since my previous post Holding it All Together - I’ve been consumed by a single question: Who watches the whip? If the whip is the person who keeps everyone else on track, aligned, and focused, then who or what ensures they don’t falter themselves?

This question hits close to home because, for weeks now, I’ve felt something I can’t quite shake: the fear of burnout. Ten months ago, I was operating on all cylinders, pushing hard toward big goals, and achieving more than I thought possible. But now? I feel like I’ve lost some of that momentum. It’s not that I’m unmotivated—it’s just that some of the big things I was chasing have already been achieved. And maybe that’s part of the problem.

Perhaps what I really need is to take a step back, to pause and celebrate those wins. But here’s where the fear creeps in: if I stop to rest, am I taking my eyes off the prize? What if the pause turns into a plateau, or worse, regression? It feels like a delicate balancing act—how do I recharge without losing focus, or stay in motion without running myself into the ground?

Maybe the answer is to work smarter, not harder. But that raises a whole new set of questions: What does working smart even mean? At face value, it sounds ideal, but isn’t it just a polished version of mediocrity? After all, you can’t work smart without first working hard. And isn’t the hallmark of truly smart work the foundation of effort and grit beneath it?

These thoughts swirl in my mind as I reflect on how I’ve been approaching my work lately. I’ve always juggled multiple things at once—two, sometimes three projects running in parallel. I like the way it keeps my mind fresh, giving me the energy to switch gears when one task starts to feel heavy. But lately, I’ve been wondering: should I be doing less? Should I focus on fewer things and see them through with laser-sharp precision?

Or is the issue not about what I’m doing but about how? Perhaps I need a better system or process, something to keep me steady while I navigate this next stage of my life and work. But what does that look like? Is it about designing a roadmap, creating routines, or building a team of people who can help me carry the weight?

I’m still unsure about all of this. I don’t have the answers, but I know that the questions themselves are worth sitting with. In the meantime, I’ve been letting my mind wander freely, giving myself space to reflect without forcing conclusions. Maybe that’s what I need right now—a bit of space to figure it all out, to experiment and see what works.

If there’s one thing I’ve realized, it’s this: the fear of burnout, the tug-of-war between rest and drive, the uncertainty of what comes next—it’s all part of the journey. It’s uncomfortable, yes, but maybe that discomfort is a signal that growth is still happening, even if it doesn’t feel like it in the moment.

So, for now, I’m learning to sit with the discomfort, to try to celebrate the wins without losing sight of what’s ahead, and to keep asking myself: what does it truly mean to stay on track? How do you find balance when the path forward feels both exciting and uncertain?

Oh yeah… writing this just sparked a flare I haven’t felt all week. Maybe I should do this more often—writing down my thoughts as a way to summarize the week and reflect on things. Who knows? It might just keep me on track after all. 😉