How Staying Calm and Relax Helps
How being calm and relax might be the missing part of you getting to next level.
“Dennis, go and read your book.”
“Dennis, stop playing video games.”
“Dennis, these people you’re watching on the screen? They’re getting paid. You, on the other hand, should go to school, stop wasting time and-please-go and read your books!”
That phrase was the soundtrack of my childhood. If you grew up where I did, you probably heard it too, from parents, and everyone. Mine particularly was from my mum. And looking back now, they weren’t wrong. But maybe they were pointing at a different kind of reading than I understood.
It’s 5 a.m., and these memories are just floating around in my head. I’m remembering that younger version of me-talented, yes-but not exactly the hardest worker. The truth? I used to think I wasn’t smart. That’s a story for another day…I remember vividly one of the earliest books that truly shifted something in me: Gifted Hands by Ben Carson. I was a teenager then, and that book? It made me believe that being exceptional was not only possible, it was something I could actually imagine for myself. I saw bits of myself in him: curious, misunderstood, maybe even a little underestimated. That book didn’t just entertain me, it pushed me. It gave me permission to try harder in school, to become “book smart,” to do better. And for a while, that was the only type of reading I knew; academic reading. Textbooks. Exam prep. And I don’t think that was a bad thing. That kind of narrow focus was what I needed to get somewhere in life. Somewhere stable.
But stability changes you.
You go from scarcity to survival. Then you hit something new: curiosity. You realize that you want to know more about the world, that’s the phase I’m in now. A new season. A new set of questions. And reading has come back, not as a chore, not even as discipline, but as necessity. Because now I want to understand systems, processes, design, technology, economics, sales, leadership, finance. Real-world stuff. Stuff that shapes how the world works.
I used to think reading books was about being seen as smart. Now I see that reading, real reading, is about being prepared. It’s not just about information. It’s about formation. It’s about building mental models. It’s about knowing how to think about problems before they show up.
And let me be clear: I’m not talking about passive headline-scrolling or audiobook summaries while commuting. Those are fine. But I’m talking about the kind of reading that requires attention, focus, stillness, the kind of cognitive engagement that’s becoming increasingly rare. Reading that stretches you. That confuses you a little. That forces you to sit with complexity. That’s the type of reading I’m learning to love.
This shift didn’t happen overnight. It came from having conversations with people smarter than me, mentors who asked different questions, friends who made recommendations I initially ignored. Slowly, I started building a reading habit, 30 to 40 minutes before bed, or early mornings. I even gave myself permission to drop books halfway if they didn’t resonate. No guilt. Just movement. Because eventually, you’ll find the one that pulls you in. And when you do? You know.
Now I lead a book club. I have completed my own manuscript. I’m even thinking about starting something in the African book industry, a market worth over $7 billion ($18 billion projection), and still largely untapped. I wouldn’t have known that if I didn’t read. That’s what’s wild…how books quietly open your eyes to new industries, ideas, and possibilities.
But maybe the biggest realization for me has been this: Everything I want to know, from product strategy to space-time, from computational reasoning to creative leadership, exists in a book somewhere. I just need to find it, engage with it, and connect it back to my life. Because once you make that connection, you’re not just absorbing information, you’re transforming it into wisdom. Into leverage.
And no, there’s no “physical” reward for reading. No trophy. No badge. It’s more like planting bamboo. You water it for years, nothing happens. Then suddenly it shoots up. That’s what it feels like. Conversations you couldn’t have years ago suddenly become easy. Concepts that used to feel abstract start to make sense. You change, slowly at first, then all at once.
If I were to start again, I’d want to become a reader early. A real one. Because the future I want to build, the kind of work I hope to do, requires it. It requires me to know a lot about the world and how it works.
So I’ll ask:
What are you reading?
And more importantly… What do you want to become?
